This blog won’t make a whole lot of sense unless you have been unfortunate enough to have had a stomach virus. My buddy here in Egypt was very sick for a few days, he was vomiting alot, fever and feeling horrible. I finally went with him to the hospital and he was examined and released, the next day we tried another hospital, he was examined and released. Third day we returned to the first hospital where they admitted him and he spent the next four days there. Here is the first thing you need to learn from this blog, a stomach virus is EXTREMRLY contagious, me and my buddy who visited him in the hospital learned that the hard way. If you know anyone that has one stay away and warn your friends to stay away when you get one.
While some people have some of these symptoms, some have all- cramps, aches and pain, vomiting, diahrea and fever. The fever is natures way of killing the bacteria with heat, the vomiting and diahrea are the way the body eliminates the bad stuff.
I don’t think I had a fever but I had stomach ache and diahrea for five days. That’s five days of living on the toilet. I never go to the doctor or hospital as I always think the body cures itself. I had plenty of time to research the virus so I did some googling, I really do love google because you can learn so much and I learned a lot about stomach viruses, their cause, the fact they are contagious, what you should and should not eat and drink, etc.
Well its day five for me and I had my first fart, a long one, a fart never felt so good. Isn’t the word fart a funny word? Some will never say it, I’m sure this is one of the few blogs with it in the title. I think I’ve had gas all my life, it seems everything makes me fart. I joke when I say water gives me gas, but it’s not far from the truth. If I ate eggs, had a beer and a bean burrito I could win a farting contest. I think I’ll Google to see if they actually have those. When I was very young i remember I had friends that lit their farts on fire, yes farts are flammable. My sister used to go around the room with a lit match to get rid of the gas, you could see the match flicker. I was married for 38 years and my wife never farted ONCE. It’s hard to believe that some people don’t fart, I think she is the only one, it is a natural body occurrence, I don’t do it on purpose.
Farts can instantaneously encompass a room. Once when I was a teenager in gym class sixteen of us were in the gym standing in a circle listening to the coach when I let a little peep of a fart out, I mean Smaller than small with no sound, instantantly everyone gasped and screamed out “who did that?”, of course I had to scream too.
In closing I watched a movie the other day, The Bucket List, Jack Nicholson said there are three rules you must follow in old age, never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on and never trust a fart! Never never trust one when you have diahrea that’s for sure. When you get over the pain and discomfort of the stomach flu and have your first fart you will agree with me it’s a wonderful feeling. Hope you learned something but most importantly I hope I made you smile.
Dr. Fantastic
